<<<THIS JUST IN>>> 

AMELIA EARHART FOUND ALIVE IN WHITE RIVER JUNCTION, VT AFTER BELIEVED LOST FOR 73 YEARS.  LIVING UNDER THE ASSUMED NAME OF COLLEEN SIMPSON… 

AP June 5, 2010 

Amelia Earhart has been found alive in White River Junction, VT, running a chain of Laundromats with attached Pan Pacific Fusion Buffets.  Still bustling and driving, though not flying anymore, Miss Earhart is only days shy of her 113th birthday in July and preparing for another adventure.  

Asked what happened that fated day 73 years ago when the world thought she was lost at sea, she replied, “Fred (referring to navigator Fred Noonan) refused to ask for directions.  You know how men are.  We ended up landing on Gardner Island instead of Howland.  I didn’t hold it against him.  Not really.  We survived there for 4 months.  You get really tired of fish and cocoanuts every day.  Flesh and cocoanut on the other hand can be delightful change of pace.  Fred understood.  He would have wanted one of us to survive.  Years of drinking had marinated him well.  Some of the recipes I created with Fred I still use today at the buffets…I was on the brink of despair when I spotted a ship off the coast.  I flagged them down, realizing too late that it was a Japanese aircraft carrier.  I became a prisoner of war.  I changed my name then so that they wouldn’t take advantage of my fame and Colleen Simpson was born.  While a prisoner of war and being held on the Chinese mainland, I learned how to cook like the locals.  At the completion of the war I was lucky enough to make my way back to the states with General Douglas McArthur.  Doug was a gracious host and I decided not to return to my husband George, choosing instead, like Doug, to be a good soldier and never die but fade away…to Vermont.  Why Vermont?  I had always loved Maple syrup and it was land-locked.”  

What’s next for the spunky aeronautical maven?  “I dug up my friend Laura Rooney and we’ll be driving through all 48 states in 7 days.  It’s a way to build up my endurance for one more try at circling the globe in an Electra.”  Godspeed Amelia!